Your True Friends Will Always Be – If You Can Count Them on One Hand, You May Have Too Many

The advent of Facebook was one of the worst vehicles to ingratiate itself upon our lives. IT (information technology) effectively took everyone’s lives and smashed all of us all together into a virtual universal high school, if not lesser. Our lives have been turned into “a social experiment” that seeks to promote a constant reinforcement of validation, overstated promotion of our faulty ideas and irrational thoughts, and perpetually masturbates some form of tacit confirmation that we “matter.”

Nowadays, a “friend” is best described as a gathering of names or a gaggle of faces or other self-identifying images that corresponds to a human being. Facebook’s system of acquiring and adding “friends,” was the single most incredible achievement of entrepreneurial and psychological proportions; encourage people to virally promote themselves, cross-connect with “like-minded folks” that politically charge up the armies with “group think mentality,” link up with people they know and call them, “friends,” and then, use that information to market a truckload of useless nonsense and unnecessary commodities to these people through the social medium. Brilliant.

In addition to encouraging “group think” and underscoring an idea that anyone with a Facebook page and Twitter handle is now some sort of political expert, we further teach people that a volume of people called, “friends,” is some sort of currency. The acquisition of “friends” is now viewed by some as an instrument of stated “social currency,” used to suggest some sort of personal value. (Rather strange to suggest that you are “important” by the number of “friends” who “like” you? Don’t you think?) Facebook has misappropriated the use, weight, and meaning of the word “friend,” and your profile allows others to associate your volume of friends as a position of personal superiority, influence, and inferred “importance.” Yuk! Gross! Disgusting!

It would seem that some Facebook users add everyone and anyone to their “friends list” in order to communicate to others, “Wow! Look at how many people ‘like’ me. Look how much better I am than you. Look at all my ‘fans.'” It is bad enough that the human race marvels at its own existence and achievements, never mind the fact that we refer to ourselves as “intelligent life.” As compared to what – A worm? Social media has become an ever-evolving force in a world that reinforces a dangerous ideology of self-importance. Thus, people have now developed a very odd and unusual definition of the word, “friend” or “follower.” The current use of the word “friend” is now a far-reaching concept that divorces itself from the intimacy and importance of someone whom you trust, admire, and invest time in exchange for a meaning that suggests personal worth.

For these reasons, narcissists love Facebook. It is the easiest and most obvious way to celebrate the self and shore up an already shaky self-confidence. For people of this type, social media is the easiest pathway to celebrate one’s own personal existence, not to mention, a very “captive” audience to share everything from this morning’s breakfast picture, a veiny biceps, and every move in NYC last week. If you are really lucky, the narcissist will shove pictures of his or her adorable children and their associated microscopic movements in your face and drown you in a disgusting world of personal opinion pieces.

Without spending eight pages on the subject, I think I can summarize my point very succinctly: the volume of people on your Facebook page does not identify how many “true” friends you have. This point is most obviously demonstrated in this way: how many of these “friends” are going to come running to help you if you call at 2am, no questions asked? I am only guessing, but I would say, few.

Therefore, the only people you should count as “friends” are those people you can count on morning, noon, night and any hour of the day. True friends are your “rock.” They are the foundation and mortar of your life’s surroundings, the people who think of you when you’re up, down and all points in between, and the people whom you never need qualify yourself, justify your actions, explain your behavior or validate your existence.

They know who and what you are, understand how and why you are, and love you for better, worse, richer, poorer and always stand with you, whether the battle is theirs or not!

To pursue a happier quality of life, you should:

• Downsize! Choose the people whom you call “friends” and categorize the people you acquaint. Some feel the need to stockpile people they call “friends.” Leave high school behaviors to people less than 18 years old. Life is not a popularity contest. Less is more!

• Qualify! Who is the type of person you would like to call your “friend?” Is this person someone who carries him/herself with value for others? Is encouraged by the kind acts s/he performs for others? Is considerate of others’ feelings prior to speaking or taking action? If someone has less than spectacular conduct, you may want to evaluate if you desire to be considered guilty by association.

• Form your “Elite Team.” The elite are those who, when called upon, deploy at a moment’s notice, dispatch in the middle of the night and move with speed and certainty. These people are the few and the proud and mean business when it comes to you! They are the types of folks who are the most dependable and are the “Special Forces Unit” of your friends-battalion.