The dissolution of a marriage is a very painful process. Your ability to manage properly the transition from being a married person to being single again can determine whether you can move on with your life quickly or whether your life may grind to a halt for a while.
In this article focus on the family: dealing with divorce, I want to look at what a divorced person can do to help him or her manage the transition well so that they can focus on the future as quickly as possible.
1. Accept That It Is Over
Sometimes when people divorce, they often ruminate about things they could have done differently in the marriage so that they could have increased the chances that the marriage would have stood for ages. Doing this only drains one of energy, makes one live in the past, and prevents one from looking forward to all the opportunities and hope that the future offers.
So to save yourself heartache and unnecessary emotional instability, accept that your marriage to the man or woman you once loved is over. Choose to use the mistakes you made as a tool to help you grow: remind yourself often of the lessons you learned in the marriage and resolve to make those lesson guide you as you form new romantic relationships in the future.
2. Do Not Be Too Hard On Yourself
It may sound counter-intuitive, but this is the time for you to give yourself a good treat so that you can alleviate some of the pain of the whole process.
- Cook your favorite meal, invite one or two work colleagues and have an interesting conversation as you enjoy the meal.
- Travel to an exotic island in the Caribbean and enjoy the sun and some delicious tropical meals.
- Take hot baths and imagine yourself in paradise as you enjoy the feel of the water on your skin.
- Put on your best clothes, visit friends you have not seen in a while and reminisce about good times.
- Watch some of your favorite movies that you have not watched in a while.
3. Join Support Groups
It is very easy for a divorced individual to feel that he or she is the only one who is going through such an experience in life. That can breed feelings of loneliness which in turn can increase the risk that one may choose to engage in unhealthy habits such as smoking, drinking, and taking drugs in an attempt to deal with the emotional and psychological pain of the divorce.
However, there are scores of other people who have also gone through what you are going through, and who can share their experiences with you to help you see that there is hope for tomorrow so that you can heal quickly and move on with your life.
- Divorce Support and First World Wives have chats and forums which offer one an opportunity to talk to others who have also been through what he or she is experiencing.
- DivorceCare will give you an opportunity to meet men and women who have also experienced what you are going through face-to-face, if you prefer to interact in this manner with divorced people.
The Bible says in Psalm 147:3 that, “He heals the brokenhearted, and binds up their wounds.” God works on the hearts of those who have experienced great disappointment, soothes their pain, helps them to forget, and brings emotional healing and psychological relief to them when they seek Him in time of suffering.
So every morning, intone a prayer such as this one, “Dear LORD, glory be to Your holy Name for your grace and mercies that have sustained me from the day I was born up till now. Father, I am hurting as a result of my divorce from Kwaku. Please give me the grace I need to bear this cross. Please help me to forgive him for all that he did to me. And please help me to move on with my life. Amen.”
In this article about focus on the family: dealing with divorce, I have shown you that acceptance, relaxation, seeking human support, and seeking Divine help can all help you to brave the storm so that you can continue living. Do these things often until they become your second nature and you will be able to enjoy life again.